Welp. Here I am. It's funny how my attitude can change in just a few (not so) short days. My attitude is crummy and defeated. In not just the diet subject, but others as well. Peyton has been sick for a few days and Blake has moved to night shift, thus my world has been totally turned upside down. It's crazy, really. Peyton hasn't been TERRIBLY sick and Blake rotates shifts every two weeks. So I find myself asking, "What the heck is my problem??"
One thing I have learned about myself in these past few years is that I am a creature of habit. I LOVE a schedule. I don't mind doing the same thing over and over again with just a few minor changes. Maybe that's why I was so good at customer service and why I enjoyed being a bank teller. Or maybe I just got comfortable with those positions...but then again, what's wrong with comfort?
Anyway, I always have a hard time adjusting when Blake changes shifts. Especially when he goes to night shift. I can't stand having half of the house shut off during the whole day while he sleeps. I always find myself having to go into our room for one reason or another and if I wake him up he always thinks its on purpose...but really it's not. Really.
For the past two weeks Blake has been on first shift and I've had a pretty good thing going. Peyton usually wakes up between 7-7:30am and will nap from about 1pm-3pm and then she's in bed by 9pm (don't judge me...that's what works for us...) I had been doing my workouts when she napped and then I would shower and be dressed by the time Blake got home around 3:30 (and by "dressed" I mean wearing jeans and a t-shirt instead of sweatpants and t-shirt *tee hee*). Also, I would keep myself busy during the day playing with her and doing my "chores" so that I never really wanted to snack.
Well, now everything is just topsy-turvy. Peyton has been sick and has just wanted to lay in my lap all day. And that makes me want to eat. She was sick enough that she didn't care what we watched on tv so if you know me, you know I was watching the Food Network. And that makes me want to eat. Ugh...idle hands really are the devil's workshop...especially if the devil is making cake in the kitchen. Today was the first day that Peyton has really acted like herself and I tried to get back on my schedule for working out, but I guess she felt so good she didn't want to nap cause 20 minutes into my run on the elliptical, she came pitter pattering into the room.
And here's where I really dropped the bomb: after dinner I wanted something chocolate. I tried to just eat a serving size of my yummy delicious chocolate graham crackers with milk chocolate cream cheese. But lets be honest, who's that serving size for anyway? A midget? I'm embarrassed to say how much I actually ate. But here goes...I ate a whole sleeve of graham crackers and about 1/4 of the tub of cream cheese. Like a boss.
Tomorrow is another day, and I really really hope that I do better. I don't want to give up so soon. I don't want my size 12's to win...
Reality is that LIFE happens. I've heard that even Jennifer Aniston has a weakness for mayonaise sandwiches. After her and Brad split, I bet she ate her fair share of 'em! lol!
ReplyDeleteThink about it like this: When we sin, we don't just say, "Well, I'm just going to have to give up being a Christian because it's too hard for me. I have to fight the urge to do things my way all the time." NO!!! When we fall, we ask God to forgive us and to help us be better. RIGHT THEN. And then we press on. We don't wait for next Sunday's service to "start over."
Today IS a new day and one of my favorite sayings now is, "You have come to far to take orders from a cookie! (or chocolate cream cheese!)" You've GOT this sister. And the great thing about WW is that you never have to deny yourself anything. Like we are never gonna have cupcakes again, right? Phfht! Enjoy your dessert, honey pot. Life and dessert are meant to be savored. It was only one dessert.
Satan wants to see you defeated and your temple for the Holy Spirit wrecked. Don't believe his lies! Just keep swimming! Hugs to you, sweet sister!