Not really sure how to start this one off...there's no excuse for my absence in the blogging world. I haven't been particularly busy, just lazy I guess. But I refuse to quit on another attempted hobby so here I am.
Lazy would have been a good title for this blog as I have found myself doing a bunch of nothing lately. I haven't cleaned my house in two weeks. (Pause for a collaborative GASP) For those of you who know me well, you know that's kind of a big deal. I have a schedule that I very rarely stray from. Tuesdays are my "cleaning" day, and my vacuum hasn't moved today. Nor did it move last week. Don't go all crazy on me, of course I have been keeping the house in working order, there's no food residue lying about anywhere, I've done all our laundry and there are no ring around the toilets. But the floors have went unmopped, the furniture is sporting a fairly think layer of dust and the carpets not vacuumed. Why? I dunno. I. Just. Don't. Want. To. Childish, huh?
I'm sitting here thinking back over the past couple of weeks to the things that I HAVE done. Most of them are necessary like laundry, taking care of and making more time to play with Peyton (can I put three trips to Chick-fil-A in two weeks under this category?), cooking dinner, going to Bible study, going to church. Some of them are things that are not necessary but things I consider important like strictly sticking to my exercise regime (this totals around 270 minutes a week...) spending more time talking to and being with friends/family that sort of stuff...but then comes the things that are not really important at all: spending countless hours reading The Hunger Games series, Facebook, DVR, flitting around town in my mini van pretending gas isn't $3.60 a gallon...that sort of stuff. I'm not saying that I shouldn't make time to do the things that I enjoy, I'm only reiterating the mantra I've adopted for my life as of recently, "Everything in moderation."
Our ABS class just started back a small group Bible study two weeks ago and the topic is the power in prayer. Last night during one of the video clips, Jim Cymbala makes the comment, "Prayer is the barometer of our faith." Ouch. I like to think of myself as a pretty faithful person. I would say I am spiritual, religious even. But hey, the Pharisees were religious and spiritual too...
So I guess I just put two and two together. The past month or so has been pretty, well crappy. Nothing particularly bad has happened to me (thank you Jesus!) but I just feel under attack. I feel Satan trying to creep in everywhere in my life. I feel old temptations rising up, I feel the suffocating arms of depression and anxiety squeezing the last little bit of joy out of me. And I just figured it out. I've been letting things become idols to me: Facebook, TV, books. I've been putting all of that and more before spending time in God's word and in prayer. My relationship to my heavenly Father has suffered because I've become, well, lazy.
I'm starting over again. I've prayed and asked God to forgive me for my absence in His presence and asked Him to help me become more committed to spending time in prayer. I've asked Him to give me a yearning and a desire to study His word and I've asked Him to give me a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit. And I know H will, cause He's not a God of second chances, He's the God of third and forth and fifth....chances.
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