Not really sure how to start this one off...there's no excuse for my absence in the blogging world. I haven't been particularly busy, just lazy I guess. But I refuse to quit on another attempted hobby so here I am.
Lazy would have been a good title for this blog as I have found myself doing a bunch of nothing lately. I haven't cleaned my house in two weeks. (Pause for a collaborative GASP) For those of you who know me well, you know that's kind of a big deal. I have a schedule that I very rarely stray from. Tuesdays are my "cleaning" day, and my vacuum hasn't moved today. Nor did it move last week. Don't go all crazy on me, of course I have been keeping the house in working order, there's no food residue lying about anywhere, I've done all our laundry and there are no ring around the toilets. But the floors have went unmopped, the furniture is sporting a fairly think layer of dust and the carpets not vacuumed. Why? I dunno. I. Just. Don't. Want. To. Childish, huh?
I'm sitting here thinking back over the past couple of weeks to the things that I HAVE done. Most of them are necessary like laundry, taking care of and making more time to play with Peyton (can I put three trips to Chick-fil-A in two weeks under this category?), cooking dinner, going to Bible study, going to church. Some of them are things that are not necessary but things I consider important like strictly sticking to my exercise regime (this totals around 270 minutes a week...) spending more time talking to and being with friends/family that sort of stuff...but then comes the things that are not really important at all: spending countless hours reading The Hunger Games series, Facebook, DVR, flitting around town in my mini van pretending gas isn't $3.60 a gallon...that sort of stuff. I'm not saying that I shouldn't make time to do the things that I enjoy, I'm only reiterating the mantra I've adopted for my life as of recently, "Everything in moderation."
Our ABS class just started back a small group Bible study two weeks ago and the topic is the power in prayer. Last night during one of the video clips, Jim Cymbala makes the comment, "Prayer is the barometer of our faith." Ouch. I like to think of myself as a pretty faithful person. I would say I am spiritual, religious even. But hey, the Pharisees were religious and spiritual too...
So I guess I just put two and two together. The past month or so has been pretty, well crappy. Nothing particularly bad has happened to me (thank you Jesus!) but I just feel under attack. I feel Satan trying to creep in everywhere in my life. I feel old temptations rising up, I feel the suffocating arms of depression and anxiety squeezing the last little bit of joy out of me. And I just figured it out. I've been letting things become idols to me: Facebook, TV, books. I've been putting all of that and more before spending time in God's word and in prayer. My relationship to my heavenly Father has suffered because I've become, well, lazy.
I'm starting over again. I've prayed and asked God to forgive me for my absence in His presence and asked Him to help me become more committed to spending time in prayer. I've asked Him to give me a yearning and a desire to study His word and I've asked Him to give me a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit. And I know H will, cause He's not a God of second chances, He's the God of third and forth and fifth....chances.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Forgiveness...
God really does work in mysterious ways, don't cha think?
Every ABS (adult Bible study) class in our church is working it's way through a lesson book that has a daily "lesson" appropriately themed each week. This past week the lesson was on forgiveness. EEEEKKKK!
Not only did I walk out of our classroom this past Sunday morning feeling like Jesus himself had done a two step on my toes, but I felt his presence in my heart too. I'm not one to forgive and forget. Forgive, yes. Forget - well that's another story. Have I offered true forgiveness if I can say that I have forgiven someone, but still recall the transgression in my heart almost every single day? Have I really forgiven someone (even if they haven't asked for it...) if I choose to remove myself completely from their life? **SIGH**And that's the hard part, isn't it? Well at least for me it is. It's easy to forgive someone who realizes that they have hurt you and ASKS for forgiveness. It's not so easy to forgive those who hurt you (intentionally or not) and never once give the matter a second thought. And I guess that's where God wanted me to focus...
I have been reading a series (or technically several series) written by Karen Kingsbury. Currently I am reading the book Learning. Since I can't do this justice by summing it up, I am going to copy an exert from the book. In this part, Bailey, a strong Christian young lady, is at a Bible study with some older women (Betty, Barbara, Sara and Irma) and finds herself struggling with the issue of forgiveness...
...Sara smiled. "Life can be hard on people who want to make a difference for God."
"It's true." Irma leaned forward. "I remember once when I was newly married seeing a bald eagle soaring overhead during a drive with my husband. For a while I watched it, soaring and dipping, riding the currents higher and higher toward the heavens. But then out of nowhere came a couple of smallish crows. Rather than do their own thing, the crows caught up to the eagle and began dive-bombing it, flying at its wings and talons, poking at it and irritating it."
Bailey let the picture play out in her mind. "I've seen that before. Out at Lake Monroe in Bloomington where I grew up. The eagle seemed unfazed by it...he kept flying in big arcs and circles, moving higher until the smaller birds left him alone."
"Exactly." Barbara's eyes told Bailey she, too, understood the analogy from God's creation. "And that's just what God wants us to do."
"The truth is, people pick on those who shine." Sara smiled at Bailey. "It's always been that way."
They looked at the Bible again, and they agreed that the most important thing they could do is forgive people who harmed them, and to fly - like the eagle - to higher ground until the problems of life, the hurtful people of life, were so far below they couldn't cause pain any longer.
"There is one thing to remember." Sara took a sip from her drink and looked around the room. "Sometimes we feel like the world is against us...and there are many days when we're the eagle. But other times we're the crow. And for that we need to make things right...change our actions and ask God to forgive us."
**ANOTHER SIGH** Well if that just ain't a hum dinger I don't know what is. Needless to say God has really gotten my attention on this topic lately. The thing is, my life to Him is no different, probably worse even. How must I look to my Holy God? The spotless Lamb that forgave me at the cross hundreds of years before I was even that "twinkle" in my earthly father's eye? The man who was mocked, jeered, spat upon, flogged, the man whose brow was bruised and bled, the man who, after being nailed to a cross and lifted high, and right before His last breath cried out, "Father, forgive them..." That wasn't just for the Roman soldiers, that wasn't just for the teachers and religious leaders that contributed to his wrongful sentence, that wasn't just for the angry mob of Jews that looked on as He died...that was for ME. Hundred of years before I was born, before I even committed my first sin, HE forgave ME.
So who am I to hold grudges? To keep records of wrongs? Jesus has forgiven me, but he hasn't forgotten. He's done something even greater - He has CHOSEN to NEVER remember again.
So how's the view on this area in your life? I'm praying that I can become more like Christ in this area of mine.
If you think you might be interested in reading some books written by Karen Kingsbury, check out her website here. And this is the order I have read in: Redemption Series, Firstborn Series, Sunrise Series, Above The Line Series, and (sadly) lastly, The Bailey Flanigan Series.
Every ABS (adult Bible study) class in our church is working it's way through a lesson book that has a daily "lesson" appropriately themed each week. This past week the lesson was on forgiveness. EEEEKKKK!
Not only did I walk out of our classroom this past Sunday morning feeling like Jesus himself had done a two step on my toes, but I felt his presence in my heart too. I'm not one to forgive and forget. Forgive, yes. Forget - well that's another story. Have I offered true forgiveness if I can say that I have forgiven someone, but still recall the transgression in my heart almost every single day? Have I really forgiven someone (even if they haven't asked for it...) if I choose to remove myself completely from their life? **SIGH**And that's the hard part, isn't it? Well at least for me it is. It's easy to forgive someone who realizes that they have hurt you and ASKS for forgiveness. It's not so easy to forgive those who hurt you (intentionally or not) and never once give the matter a second thought. And I guess that's where God wanted me to focus...
I have been reading a series (or technically several series) written by Karen Kingsbury. Currently I am reading the book Learning. Since I can't do this justice by summing it up, I am going to copy an exert from the book. In this part, Bailey, a strong Christian young lady, is at a Bible study with some older women (Betty, Barbara, Sara and Irma) and finds herself struggling with the issue of forgiveness...
...Sara smiled. "Life can be hard on people who want to make a difference for God."
"It's true." Irma leaned forward. "I remember once when I was newly married seeing a bald eagle soaring overhead during a drive with my husband. For a while I watched it, soaring and dipping, riding the currents higher and higher toward the heavens. But then out of nowhere came a couple of smallish crows. Rather than do their own thing, the crows caught up to the eagle and began dive-bombing it, flying at its wings and talons, poking at it and irritating it."
Bailey let the picture play out in her mind. "I've seen that before. Out at Lake Monroe in Bloomington where I grew up. The eagle seemed unfazed by it...he kept flying in big arcs and circles, moving higher until the smaller birds left him alone."
"Exactly." Barbara's eyes told Bailey she, too, understood the analogy from God's creation. "And that's just what God wants us to do."
"The truth is, people pick on those who shine." Sara smiled at Bailey. "It's always been that way."
They looked at the Bible again, and they agreed that the most important thing they could do is forgive people who harmed them, and to fly - like the eagle - to higher ground until the problems of life, the hurtful people of life, were so far below they couldn't cause pain any longer.
"There is one thing to remember." Sara took a sip from her drink and looked around the room. "Sometimes we feel like the world is against us...and there are many days when we're the eagle. But other times we're the crow. And for that we need to make things right...change our actions and ask God to forgive us."
**ANOTHER SIGH** Well if that just ain't a hum dinger I don't know what is. Needless to say God has really gotten my attention on this topic lately. The thing is, my life to Him is no different, probably worse even. How must I look to my Holy God? The spotless Lamb that forgave me at the cross hundreds of years before I was even that "twinkle" in my earthly father's eye? The man who was mocked, jeered, spat upon, flogged, the man whose brow was bruised and bled, the man who, after being nailed to a cross and lifted high, and right before His last breath cried out, "Father, forgive them..." That wasn't just for the Roman soldiers, that wasn't just for the teachers and religious leaders that contributed to his wrongful sentence, that wasn't just for the angry mob of Jews that looked on as He died...that was for ME. Hundred of years before I was born, before I even committed my first sin, HE forgave ME.
So who am I to hold grudges? To keep records of wrongs? Jesus has forgiven me, but he hasn't forgotten. He's done something even greater - He has CHOSEN to NEVER remember again.
So how's the view on this area in your life? I'm praying that I can become more like Christ in this area of mine.
If you think you might be interested in reading some books written by Karen Kingsbury, check out her website here. And this is the order I have read in: Redemption Series, Firstborn Series, Sunrise Series, Above The Line Series, and (sadly) lastly, The Bailey Flanigan Series.
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